Animal
by KyoxSakiFan
Summary: Slight Ikuto x Amu: I couldn’t break through. The darkness consumed me. My cries couldn’t reach them. On the outside, I was a murderous machine. On the inside, I was crying. Drabblish. SPOILERS.


Animal

Anime: Shugo Chara

Type: One-shot; Drabble

Character POV: Ikuto

Pairing: One-sided Ikuto x Amu

Setting: Takes place in the manga verse when Easter uses the violin to manipulate Ikuto into doing what they want. It's my version of what's probably going through his mind.

Summary: I couldn't break through. The darkness consumed me. My cries couldn't reach them. On the outside, I was a murderous machine. On the inside, I was crying.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara!

I wanted to scream; tell her it wasn't the real me. I wanted to calm her fears; show her what I was really feeling.

I couldn't.

I could only pound desperately against the wall that separated me from my mind and body.

I couldn't control my limbs, my mouth, ANYTHING. I could only see what my body was doing, and it was killing me.

I was attacking Amu; my merciless black eyes boring into hers as my transformed hands repeatedly struck out for her. I couldn't stop it, no matter how much I resisted. The one girl I'd given up so much for, constantly put my life on the line for…

I was trying to kill her.

No, not me. The dark existence Easter somehow used to take control of my body. I could feel it pumping through my veins, controlling every step I made. I even found myself wondering if the me on the outside could feel my anguish.

I felt every wound that was issued, every breath that fell from my body.

I just couldn't control it.

I couldn't bear it; to see her eyes staring at me with so much fear. Could she see it in my eyes? Could she feel my presence at all? Was there a way I could get through to her?

She leapt at me again, eyes full of determination. I forced myself to look away as my body leapt back at her, killer intent fully visible.

Why did it end up this way? I said mean things to her. I forced her to run away from me.

I did it all to protect her.

So why was she here? Why was she putting her life on he line to save me? I always felt that she disliked me.

I loved her. I made that painfully clear, but she didn't believe me. It killed me inside. A part of me wanted to hate her for that; I just couldn't bring myself to hate her though. She meant far too much to me to hate anything about her.

I had fought and I had failed. Everything I ever wanted, I felt it slipping through my hands as easily as if it were merely water falling from the sky. I felt myself falling through the cracks, consumed by fear and hatred, and I couldn't do a thing to stop it.

This form could easily kill me. In that case, I hope it does. Anything, so long as I don't hurt her any longer.

The tears I've been holding back all these years fall gracefully down my face, and I stare in shock as they begin to fall down my actual face as well.

Her eyes widened, staring deeply into mine. That's when I knew.

She COULD see me. She could feel me reaching out for her. She KNEW that the tears that dripped from my chin were mine, and mine alone.

I tried to halt their progress, but they continued to fall gracefully from my eyes.

I was tired. Tired of Easter, tired of hurting her, tired of EVERYTHING. In a sense, I guess I could be considered 'broken'.

Even if I did survive this somehow, if she broke through the control and saved me…Would it be worth it? Was I worth saving? I gave into the darkness and let it control me because I felt I didn't have a choice anymore. What would she say to me if she knew of my inner struggle?

In the end, would she realize just how deeply I loved her?

It didn't matter. I knew it didn't. In the end, she still had feelings for Tadase.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him a little. I missed the way he used to look at me as an older brother. I missed the days him, Utau and I used to play at the amusement park downtown. I missed the days when I was allowed to be innocent, and didn't know the darkness that resided in this world.

She calls out to me, screaming my name with so much desperation, so much _hope_ that I found my tears falling down harder. She pounded on my chest, was doing everything in her power to reach me somehow. I gasped in fear when my body raised an arm to strike her.

I knew she wouldn't survive the blow.

I had to stop myself somehow.

"AMU!" I found myself screaming her name, trying as hard as I could to push through the darkness surrounding me.

My arm stilled merely seconds before it could strike her.

I was breathing heavily. I had regained control, if only for a mere second. The tears still flowed freely down my face, and I forced my eyes to open, to stare at her.

She stared back at me, her eyes reflecting shock and confusion.

"H-help. Please…T-Take me down." She gasped, realizing that I was asking for her to strike me down, ultimately ending my life.

I could feel the darkness beginning to regain control, so with my last strength I shoved her away from me.

I fell into the darkness.

Everything went black.

**AN: Okay, just a drabble-ish one-shot I've been yearning to write for Ikuto. XD Hope you like it!**


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